'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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