$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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