you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
