yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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