Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
