I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
