Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
