On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
