I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
