we have officially lost it.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
