life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
