I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
