One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sober January is a disaster.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
