What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
