His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
