I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
