someone get that fucking seahorse.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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