haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
