she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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