If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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