If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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