It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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