I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
