You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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