last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
