Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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