Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
