There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
