WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
