The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
