haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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