She went from zero to smokin in five shots
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
