Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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