you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
