I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
