Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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