actually, I'm a sock model
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
