Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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