My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
