My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
