Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
