Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
