when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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