Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
