I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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