Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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