p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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