If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
