I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have fence marks all over my body
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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