I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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