Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Apparently you make a good broom.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
